Goodies

In case you were looking for something cool to buy me, this is a list of my favorite consumerist garbage from the last decade. Don’t worry, I’m not a trend freak so this will still be valid despite the date.

1. First off we have the “Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll” This easily outranks the popular Lucy and Ethel doll, as well as the horribly disfigured 80′s Cher Bob Mackie doll. (This one is via @brief_candle. Props to her on the find) Honestly, no self respecting doll collection can be complete without this.

2. Closely on Barbie’s heels, (yes, I went there) we find the Yahoo Insta-Yodel. Not to be confused with lesser satisfying Staples “Easy” button. Who knew that instant gratification is “only a click away“?! Well, apparently Yahoo did.  I want instant gratification please. Ok? Ok.

3.  Shoes, shoes shoes. Yes, I am a women, but no man can deny the genius of the Adidas Luke Hightops. And for all you Star Wars geeks, there is plenty more where this came from. A very close runner up (yes, I went there again) in this collection were the “Only Imperial Stormtroopers Are So Precise” Sneakers, but who can risk wearing all white shoes anyway?

4. What to go better with my nerdy new shoes, then my nerdy new T from Snorgtees?

It was pretty much impossible to choose my favorite one, but in keeping with the galactic precedent, The “It’s Okay Pluto, I’m not a planet either” T seemed like a pertinent choice.

5. Now, let us all pause for a moment to take in the genius. For this item I will bestow upon only the still image, but there is an entire video paid in homage to the Soy Popping Edemame Keychain:

No. You do not have to be disappeared into another dimension in order to make these magical beans appear. You just squeeze ever so softly on your handy dandy key chain and the lovely little middle bean (which makes one of a whopping 12 random faces!) comes out to bring a smile on even the most stubbornly unhappy faces. Pure delight, my friends.

6. The following product was brought to my attention under the caption “Forensics: Girlie Boner” (by @queendeb). And for good reason, my friends.

“Fascinated by the different shapes, angles, hues, and distribution of blood spatter patterns, the scientific and gothic allure of strands of hair,the intriguing biometric techniques of fingerprinting and DNA analysis, we decided to translate and transform these somewhat macabre but intriguing objects into hand embroidered works of beauty on canvas pillows.”

Hell Yes.

Peace and love to all my Capitalist driven, consumer frenzied, peoples.

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